only when you are quiet can you truly hear

Have you ever just stopped in the middle of a task and listened?  I mean REALLY listened?  Try it....what did you hear? 

The longer you listen the more you will hear.  Try doing it at different places with different people, and encourage them to stop and really listen. 

I think everyone should adopt this new version of "stop and smell the roses".  Listen to your children tell you the story of their day, listen to your best friend's advice, listen to your loved ones hug you (yes there is a sound there).  Most importantly listen to your heart, your breathing....listen to your soul, what does it say?

Advice....

Do you ever wonder if the advice you give is good?  Is it helpful or hurtful?  Who am I to be giving advice anyway?


I have an old friend (not old age wise but old in the fact that I've known her for a very very long time - since early grade school in fact).  We were college roommates for a short time, she married someone right out of college and settled down.  At the time I was extremely jealous of her family and her love.  At this point we lost touch.  Meanwhile I went through a few serious relationships that ended in heart break.  As well, I went through many lonely, sad times, however through those times I developed a sense of security and confidence. I learned how to be alone with myself, it wasn't easy, but looking back it was necessary.  I will never again have fear of being alone, either physically and emotionally.

The reason I tell you all this is because this old friend is seeking my advice and I wonder if I am being helpful or hurtful. 

We joke that she is going through now (post divorce) what I went through in college.  The dating scene, the questioning mens motives, their intentions.  I've come to realize that while I (hopefully) am helping her through her rough times and I am also reliving them through her.  I feel the pain she feels, the uncertainty, and the doubt and I think it makes me a better friend and wife.  I love her dearly and I have complete confidence that she will navigate this new path with dignity and compassion, with or without my advice.  I feel extremely  honored that she asks my advice, I truly do and I want to thank her (yes YOU) for being my friend and helping me be the best person I can be!

** approved for publication by "an old friend"

"After a While"

I found this poem on Pinterest (yes I am totally addicted).  It seemed to speak directly to me.  I have always been a strong believer in making your own security, that everyone needs to be able to be alone with themselves and find peace before they can find it in the company of others.  I thought I would share it, I hope you enjoy.

Missing the "precious"

Precious is defined as:  (of an object, substance, or resource) of great value; not to be wasted or treated carelessly.
 
Most of the time I think we become so wrapped up in the hurry hurry that we miss seeing the precious.  

Sunday morning I was driving the puppy to the groomer, it was a cool morning with dew covering the ground.  As I was smiling at the sunshine sparking the dew like little diamonds I happened to notice a momma duck leading her many ducklings across the dew covered grass, leaving a little trail behind.  It was very sweet and precious, not something you see every day.  I was thankful that I had been going slow enough to see them, had I not been running late I would've stopped and taken a photo.  Looking back I wish I had stopped.  I know that my groomer, Rachael would've understood and I am positive she would have appreciated the photo.

The perfect example of a precious opportunity lost.

Don't miss your opportunity!  Slow down, you might be late for something but is that worth missing the precious?

Flashback Friday.....What do I really want for Mother's Day?

Flashback to a time when there were no cell phones, smart phones, tablets, desktop or laptop computers.....it's 1987 (the year I graduated from high school). 

If we wanted to contact someone we called them on the phone, on what is now called a "land line".
If we wanted cash we went through the bank teller drive through (what is an ATM).
If we wanted to plan a sleep over we did so over a few days time; calling on the phone, talking at school, checking with parents.
If we wanted money we did odd jobs around the house.
When our parents asked us to dust, sweep or unload the dishwasher we did so (I'm sure I grumbled but I can't imagine it was anything close to the gruff my teenagers give me, you'd think they are 4 and about to throw a temper tantrum).
We didn't watch television for hours on end.
We were outside playing, or reading a book.
We had a bedtime and no televisions, computers, tablets, cell phones anywhere near our bedrooms.
We had a separate phone "land line" for my sister and I (because my parents were tired of us tying up their phone for hours on end).  I remember many times mid-conversation it was unplugged, that meant it was 9pm and no more phone.  It's called a curfew.
We went camping on weekends, played board games together, had sleepovers, went shopping at the mall and saw many a movie.

I miss these times and the simplicity they brought. In fact when raising my kids I loved it when they came to me and said "I'm bored"....my response was always "find something to do"....be creative!

Don't get me wrong, I too have embraced the technology world.  For my job my iPhone connects me 24/7 to my work calendar, email, etc.  I Tweet, FaceBook, Tumbler, Instagram and text.  I take my laptop on family vacations (thankfully iPhone SPRINT service in Hawaii stinks so I was untethered for awhile).

As an experiment one evening I left my phone downstairs to charge (rather then by my bedside).  It was actually rather liberating.  Email wasn't the last thing I checked before bed, nor was it the first thing I checked in the morning.  The "ping" of a new Facebook message didn't wake me and random text messages didn't keep me up late.

I think what I want most for Mother's Day is a technology free day (well maybe not TV, there might be an awesome end of the world movie on).

Do you think it will happen?  I'll let you know!

going grey gracefully.....

“My Redheaded Journey to Embracing the Grey”

~Jaci Spross

My hair was the color that some could only dream of having.  I was proud of my hair and for so long it was my identity – I was “the redhead”! 

I started noticing those pesky grey hairs in my late 20’s and early 30’s.  Then started the comments “did you get your hair frosted”?  One Christmas holiday, after a few glasses of wine my mother and I decided it would be fun to cover those grey hairs with home hair color, people do it all the time, how hard could it be?  Needless to say it was a disaster that resulted in a deep plum color with darker roots and much lighter ends.  I later learned that it’s called “hot roots”, that can happen when you drink alcohol while coloring your hair.  This left me with little choice but to visit my local hairdresser for a fix.  From that moment on I joined the colored hair society.  The beautiful auburn red hair of my youth became a color I strived to achieve and had very limited success at.  For the next 10 years I colored my hair every 4-6 weeks, there were times I thought about just quitting and going grey, but everyone convinced me I was too young! 

As I matured and aged, my kids grew up (now they are teenagers) I decided I wanted something more natural.  I hated how much money I was spending trying to hold onto my youth, I was constantly fussing out over the grey roots that inevitably showed up every couple of weeks.  After much internet searching and internal contemplation I decided I could do it!  What did I have to lose?  If I hated it I could always go back to coloring.  My hopes were high though, my father went a beautiful silver grey at age 35.  So with the hopes that mine would be as beautiful as his I jumped in with both feet.

I began my journey on September 14, 2013 and while my journey has not quite ended (I still have about 3 inches of blonde color left) my internal struggle is over.  I am what I am supposed to be, I have found a freedom I never knew before, a freedom to be “me”…the real me! 

As you can see from my photo journey this process was relatively easy for me.  I am convinced that there are two important things that made my journey so simple.  1) having a very talented hairdresser and 2) beautiful hair - I am truly blessed with thick, white/silver hair – thanks Dad!

Here is my photographic journey through this process of transformation.  Not only did my looks transform, but my attitude changed as well.  I feel more grown-up, more professional, more like a mom and wife (and I’m still only 45).

September 14, 2013 I began my journey with the support of my amazingly wonderful hairdresser, Trista!  The first step was a drastic cut (from well past my shoulders to above my shoulders) and the addition of a lot of blonde highlights.

BEFORE  9/14/13

AFTER  9/14/13

October 24, 2013 my next appointment was a cut, no color or highlights, the red color from the past had faded nicely as had the blonde.

AFTER - 10/24/13

AFTER - 10/24/13

December 1, 2013 we added more blonde highlights to just the previously colored hair, not the grow-out.

DURING - 12/1/13

AFTER 12/1/13

AFTER - 12/1/13

 

January 4, 2014 Happy New Year – we started off with just a cut, no more color will be used (hopefully EVER).  

AFTER - 1/24/14

AFTER - 1/24/14

AFTER 1/24/14

February 18, 2014 – just a status update photo….fading and growing out nicely.  If you look closely you can see the grow-out line.

AFTER 2/18/14

AFTER - 2/18/14

 

AFTER - 2/18/14

April 9, 2014 my impatience is showing, I had it cut shorter than usual (the back is really, really short).  There is now about 3” of color/blonde left on my hair, the rest (including the entire back) is all natural!  

AFTER - 4/9/14

AFTER - 4/9/14

   

 

AFTER - 4/9/14

                                                                                                                                              

                                 
 STATUS AS OF MAY 1, 2014

BEGINNING - September 2013

AS OF - May 2014

 

These photos are striking to me…..what a change. 

I look at the photo on the left and I see someone I don’t “know” anymore. 

Good luck with your journey!